


Haven't We Been Here Before?

by CasInTheShire (TheLittleLo)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Descriptions of past and present domestic voilence, Drummer Castiel, F/M, Firefighter Dean, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-01-15 22:28:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1321531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittleLo/pseuds/CasInTheShire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas fall in love easily, it’s quick and painless. Well, with the exception of a bruised jaw, and a concussion it’s painless. For the first time in his life Dean has found something good and he will do anything to keep it safe. But when Cas’ past catches up with him, that might be a little easier said than done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rockin' The Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> Updates can be found on [my tumblr.](http://casintheshire.tumblr.com/tagged/hwbhb)
> 
> A quick shout out to my lovely Beta, [Vicky!](http://hclmes.co.vu/)
> 
> A few notes on music:
> 
> The title of the fic is in reference to a [STYX song.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmpZ230vd50)
> 
> The title of this chapter is in reference to a [STYX song.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adOITE1IOmw)
> 
> The version of Bad Company that Garrison performs is a [cover by Five Finger Death Punch.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_VsvZmIWxY)
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 1- Rockin' The Paradise

_I ain't lookin' to fight, but I know with determination_

_We can challenge the schemers who cheat all the rules_

  _Come on take pride, be wise, spottin' the fools_

_No more big shots, crackpots bending the rules_

_A fair shot here for me and for you_

_Knowing that we can't lose_

_And we'll be rockin' in Paradise_

\----

Dean Winchester does not do friends. Family? Of course. Co-workers? Sure. But friends? Never. Anyone he gets close to either leaves or disappoints him so what’s the use?

Don’t get him wrong, he’s not a complete loner. He’s got his fellow firefighters who he joins for the occasional drink. He’s got his younger brother, Sam, adoptive parents Bobby and Jody, and younger foster sister, Charlie. All of whom he would not give up for the world.

Why adoptive you ask? Dean and Sam’s Mom died in a house fire when Dean was only 4. Their Dad turned to the drink and followed her into the void not long after. Don’t worry though, he’s over it. 

Despite this, Dean has had a relatively easy life. Bobby gave him his Dad’s old car when he turned 16. He scraped by in high school, actually made it into a fire academy, and, believe it or not, got a job at the first fire station he applied to. He currently shares a house with his giant nerd of a brother. It’s a charmed existence to be sure.

Dean is happy alone, he doesn’t need anyone else. He’s a self-proclaimed introvert, who would happily spend all his days off and evenings at home reading and listening to his prized classic rock collection.

So why in the holy names of Shaw and DeYoung is he presently standing in the middle of an overcrowded barn?

Answer: Sammy

\---

“Oh come on Dean, you can’t really expect me to believe that you are honestly happy here all by yourself?” Sam threw his hands in the air, exasperated, “It’s just one Sunday, and you don’t even have work until three tomorrow!”

Dean stared pointedly at his computer, determined to focus all of his energy into purposely ignoring his brother’s request. He had said no, and he had meant it!

Suddenly though, Sam stalked his way across the room, and whipped Dean’s computer chair around to face him. The younger brother dropped to his knees, and folded his hands in front of his neck.

“Please Dean, I swear to God I will pay you back. I just can’t sit through another one of these on my own! I don’t know anyone and I look like a dork.”

Dean finally brought himself to look at his brother, and oh God, he was using the puppy dog eyes, “Ok, Damn it, I’m going to regret this, but I’ll go.”

Sam practically leapt to his feet, and pulled Dean up into a crushing embrace “Thanks Dean, I swear you won’t regret it! We don’t have to stay the whole time, we can leave as soon as Ruby is done.”

“Ok Sammy, Ok,” Dean said, wiggling awkwardly out of his brother’s arms, “But someday when you’re a big shot lawyer and have millions of dollars you’re buying me a giant house.”

“Yes, fine whatever you want!” Sam took a step back and looked Dean up and down, “Ok Ruby will be here in a half hour to pick us up and you might want to change. If I know anything about you, it’s that you’ll want to be invisible and ignored.”

 Dean let out a disgruntled groan.

“I’m serious Dean, don’t wear any of your nerdy T-shirts or you’ll get judgmental stares all night. Just dress in black and act like you hate the world.” 

“I’ll dress however I please, I’m not changing for some damn goth-”

Sam put up a hand to cut Dean off, “On second thought just focus on the black, you already hate the world enough for the both of us”

Sam ducked out of the room just in time for Dean’s shoe to miss hitting him in the head.

“Nice try but I’m too quick for you old man!” he called from the hallway

“I’m only four years older than you!”

“Jerk!”

“Bitch!”

Oh brotherly bonding.

\---

The Old Barn, thusly named because it had once been a barn and was extremely old, was a concert venue just outside city limits. It had the stereotypical red and white paint job you’d expect on a barn, not so stereotypically it had a large, pink neon sign above the doors that currently read “TH OLD ARN.” Very classy.

The inside was a different story. You’d never know you were standing in a barn. The loft had been ripped out in favor of a catwalk, speakers, and a lighting system. A large stage took up most of the far wall, on either side walls rose about half way up the building, creating a smallish backstage area. Dulled black paint covered the wooden floor. It was all very indie-hipster. Dean wanted to hurl.

Really this was the most un-Dean Winchester place that he had ever been. The people here were the last ones he would ever choose to hang out with. Clearly they would not choose him either as about 15 pairs of eyes turned toward him with disapproving looks as he entered with Sam and Ruby. Obviously the ripped blue jeans and Batman tee were not what the doctor ordered.

“I told you they would judge you and not let you disappear into the crowd if you dressed like you.” Sam whispered.

“I’m wearing a black tee shirt, what more do you want from me?”

Ruby stepped up between them, “Well I think he looks adorable, He’s like our little nerdy mascot” She pinched Dean’s cheek as she walked passed, wrinkling her nose playfully at him.

“I have to go talk to the guys, I’ll be right back, yeah?” She gave Sam a quick kiss on the cheek and trotted off toward her bandmates.

Sam looked like he had just been hit by Cupid’s arrow itself. What a sap!

“So things are getting serious with her, aren’t they?” Dean said, drawing his brother’s attention from the brunette walking toward the far side of the barn.

“Define serious” Sam said glancing back at Ruby

“whp-sh” Dean made wiping gesture and smiled at his brother, “That is the only explanation for the eyeliner.”

Sam scoffed, but he had obviously done this before, he was wearing tight dark pants and a black tank top, and to top it off, his shaggy hair was tied back in a freaking ponytail! Oh, Dean was never going to let his brother live that one down.

“I may be wiped, but at least I have someone,” Sam came back with lamely, “And at least I’m not wearing a freaking Batman T-shirt at rock concert.”

He huffed and stalked off toward Ruby, obviously beaten.

“Have I struck a nerve little brother?” Dean called after him. He chuckled, getting under his brother’s skin was far too easy.

Crash!

Dean’s head snapped around just in time to see two men staring blankly at each other, a box held between the two of them. On the ground between them was a pile of what appeared to be chimes, a few tambourines, and a cowbell, the bottom of the box having ripped open. All the eyes who had previously been staring at Dean, had turned to see what the noise was about.

The two begin laughing and the moment passed. They set the box aside to gather the various instruments into their arms.

Everyone went back to setting up for the concert, back to their business, the dull roar of chatter filling the room again. But not for Dean, he couldn’t take his eyes off of the two men now making their way toward the stage, arms laden with the awkward assortment of percussion instruments.

The first of the two young men had dropped off his arm load and was now making his way back to the back door, but Dean was not following his pathway out the door. No his eyes were drinking up the second of the two, who was currently untangling chimes.

Now, Dean is not the type of person to believe in love at first sight, and anyway Dean would not call what he was feeling love. He wasn’t getting butterflies. He wasn’t feeling like his world would never be complete without this person in his life. He wasn’t weak at the knees, but damn, he had never seen a more handsome person in his life.

He was tall, right around Dean’s own height. He was wearing tight black, maybe leather, pants, black, studded boots, and a black AC/DC shirt that had been cut so that the arms holes reached almost to the bottom hem of the shirt. Through the opening in the side of his shirt, Dean could barely make out some tattoos. His dark hair was gelled up in every conceivable direction, and his eyes were the bluest eyes Dean had ever seen.  

He didn’t feel like he had been staring long, but the first guy had returned, now carrying an amp. When he set it down, he said something to the blue eyed man who then proceeded to look directly at Dean. Shit!

Trying to be inconspicuous Dean decided the best course of action was to look everywhere but the stage where he just knew those blue eyes were looking at him. Smooth Winchester. Luckily his horror was short lived as another crash erupted from the direction of the stage.

Laughter was followed by a clipped british accent, “Fuck Cas, at this rate, you’re not going to make it through the show without breaking every piece of the drum kit.”

Dean chanced a glance at the stage to find the first man standing above the blue eyed man, Cas?, laughing. Cas was standing holding the chime stand which he had been untangling as if he were dipping a dance partner. It was obvious he had just almost knocked it to the ground.

To Dean’s surprise Cas’ eyes flicked right to Dean’s. He wore an expression that could only be described as confusion, and tilted his head before Dean came to his senses and resumed his not so subtle game of looking everywhere but the stage.

“I’m sorry. I was. Distracted.”

Dean could not believe his ears, that was the deepest voice he had ever heard. There was no way that was how Cas normally talked, it sounded like he was nursing a lost voice and had no concept of how to string words together without sounding like he needed to shit. Still… it was intriguing, he would not have guessed the skinny, blue eyed man on the stage would talk in such a low register.

The british guy was saying something again, as Dean let his eyes slide, nonchalantly, across the stage. Mr blue eyes was still staring at him, but now so was british guy. Great. Dean decided that standing there looking like a lonely idiot in a batman tee was not the best course of action and walked off toward Sam, Ruby, and the rest of her band.

Devil’s Gate consisted of four members. Ruby sang lead and played guitar, Crowley was on Drums, Meg was on keys and bass, she also sang backup for Ruby. Luke played bass and violin, he liked to tell people Luke was short for Lucifer, it wasn’t. Dean hated him, he was a great big bag of dicks.

Another crash rang out through the mostly empty barn, followed by more of british guy’s laughter, just as Dean reached the group.

“I swear to God if that twit breaks something, we’re all fucked.” Crowley declared. Consequently, he also had a british accent. What was it about this show that attracted the brits?

“Oh, it’s fine Crowley, I don’t know what’s wrong with him though, he’s usually really quiet and put together” Ruby was staring at the stage, presumably at Cas. “Right now he sort of looks like he wants to puke.”

Dean oriented himself to face Ruby and Sam, his back to the stage, so as not to be tempted to check if blue eyes had followed him across the room.

Not that he would have had to check anyway, because, not two seconds later, Meg chimed in with, “Why is he looking over here?”

Fuck. Dean looked from Meg to Ruby to Sam, they were all looking back at the stage.

“Meg!” The impossibly low voice rang out from behind him. Despite himself, Dean shivered.

“I guess that answers that question, I’ll be right back” And Meg was off in the direction of the stage.

“Are you ok Dean?” Sam said, touching his shoulder, “You look kind of green”

“Um yeah Sammy, I’m fine. I think I’ll just step outside for some air before soundcheck starts.”

“They’ve closed the front doors until it’s time to let people in, you’ll want to use the back door by the stage.” Ruby said pointing to a door on the far side of the stage, a green exit sign glowing above it.

“Thanks” He mumbled, dreading walking across Cas’ line of sight again.

It was obvious he’d done something to offend him, from the looks he kept giving him. He really wished he had taken his brother’s advice and dressed the part. Blending in was sounding really good right about now.

Luckily Cas was facing the back of the stage, Meg and british guy however, were talking to Cas and looking directly at Dean. Meg quickly looked away doing a very good impression of Dean from about 5 mins ago. The british guy didn’t seem as easily embarrassed and proceeded to smile widely at Dean and wave.

Dean snapped his eyes straight ahead at the exit door, but he could still see Meg shove british guy in the arm and hear her giggle as he passed. He made it out the back door. wrenching it open with as much force as he could muster.

“Shit,” Dean swore to himself, slamming the door behind him.

There was no way he was going back in there before the concert started, that was mortifying. This was why he hated going out. People were cruel and judgmental. Who were they to decide what they thought about him just based on what he was wearing? He’s Dean fucking Winchester. He’s a firefighter, a hero. He saves people’s lives, they’re just a bunch of unknown musicians playing in an crappy barn. This was bullshit.

Dean sighed and slid down the side of the building, pulling out his well worn copy of The Count of Monte Cristo. At least he could get some reading done while he waited.

Music started playing from the other side of the door, soundcheck had started. Dean checked his watch, it was 6:15, the concert didn’t start until 8. It was going to be a long night.

\---

It was absolutely criminal to cram this many people into this small of a space. The little plaque above the front doors said “Capacity 340,” but Dean was positive there were at least 400 people within 10 feet of him though.

Devil’s Gate was on the last song of their set and the crowd was eating it up. It seemed like most everyone knew the words, and they were screaming them. Dean had seen Devil’s Gate with Sam before, a little “scream-y” for his tastes but they were good.

As the last notes of the song rang out, the crowd cheered loudly, Dean hooted along with them, he may not love the music, but he liked Ruby. Dean glanced at his brother who was smiling from ear to ear, hands cupped around his mouth shouting something at the stage.

Ruby could barely be heard saying thank you over the crowd.

The lights dimmed and Devil’s Gate made they’re way off the stage. _One band down three to go_ Dean mused.

Sam and Dean fought their way to the stage door. The next band were already on their second song when they made it to the green room. Once on the other side Sam immediately had his arms around a very sweaty Ruby.

“You were amazing!” He gave her a kiss on the top of her head, “The crowd was eating it up, you’re really starting to get a following!”

Luke made a gagging noise in Ruby and Sam’s direction, Dean really did hate that guy. Ruby chuckled as she wiggled free of Sam’s tight embrace, she stretched up on tip toes to give Sam a kiss.

“Oh that was all of Garrison's fans. They have a pretty big fanbase and we’ve played the same venues as them before. It makes sense that they would know some of our songs.” She looked down embarrassed.

“Garrison?” Sam asked, “That’s the band with that stupid prankster right?”

Ruby laughed again, “Just cause he got you good last time you were here doesn’t make him stupid, besides I thought you looked really cute covered in feathers.”

Crowley, and Meg joined Ruby as she laughed. Sam pulled a face like he had just eaten a lemon.

“Covered in feathers? I have got to meet this person, shake his hand, maybe kiss him,” Dean said, joining the other’s laughing, “Anyone who can pull off a good prank on my baby brother is ok in my book!”

“Better pucker up Winchester cause he’s right there,” Ruby inclined her head toward the opposite corner of the green room.

“Gabriel, the prankster you’re so intent on making out with, is the short blonde one. He’s Garrison’s bass player.”

Dean could barely see the band gathered in the corner of the crowded green room. Gabriel’s was really the only face he could see clearly. Two of the members had their backs to him, a girl and the british guy from earlier. The last person was sitting on a couch, obscured by the other three band members.

“Then we’ve got Hael,” Ruby continued, “The cute little brunette, she’s on lead guitar and vocals. Balthazar is tall one next Gabe, another guitarist and singer.”

 _Of course british guy would have a pretentious name like Balthazar,_ Dean thought, but his snide inner commentary was cut short when Ruby indicated the last member of Garrison.

“Last we’ve got Castiel, he’s on drums, he sings a bit too, which is pretty rare for a drummer.”

Hael and Balthazar had just been called over by someone at the backstage door, revealing none other than that blued eyed guy, Castiel, Cas must be a nickname, from earlier. And just like before, as soon as he noticed Dean, they’re eyes locked, and Cas looked like he couldn’t comprehend why someone like Dean existed.

“They’re great and they’ve really started to gain some notoriety. I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually get signed here pretty soon.”

The band that was playing on stage had just finished their third song and Cas got to his feet, said something to Gabriel and started toward Devil’s Gate, Sam, and Dean.

 _Shit, shit, shit._ Dean turned, stupidly, on the spot looking for a place to escape to. He did not want to be here when this uppity prick reached them and immediately picked him out as the outsider.

Sam grabbed his shoulder, spinning him to look into his eyes, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah Sam, I just think- I think I just- I need some air,” Dean glanced over his shoulder, Cas was almost to them,  “or the bathroom. Yeah, I- uh Ruby!”

She jumped when Dean shouted her name, “Yes…”

“Bathroom?”

“It’s over there,” She indicated back towards Cas, on the other side of the green room. Well, so much for an escape plan.

“Meg. Crowley.” The gravelly voice from earlier gave Dean a visible shiver, head to toe.

“Mate,” Crowley said and opened his mouth to speak again but-

“Castiel!” Meg interjected before Crowley could say anything else, “Have you met Ruby’s boyfriend?”

“Cas this is Sam,” Ruby stepped aside for Sam to reach out and take Castiel’s hand.

“Nice to meet you.”

“You too, this is my brother, Dean, I apologize for his nervous manner,” Dean shot Sam a dark look, “he’s a bit out of his element if you can’t tell.”

“Yes.”

Yes? Yes! What the hell was that supposed to mean? Yes, he’s out of his element? Yes, it’s fucking obvious, cause I’ve been giving him death glares all afternoon? With a frustrated sigh Dean finally brought himself to look at those bright blue eyes.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel extended his hand in offer of a handshake.

“Hey.” Dean said, just as curtly, why should he be polite to this asshole?

Castiel took Deans hand briefly, shook it exactly one time and let go, all without taking his eyes off of Deans.

“So Dean, how do you like the show so far? How did we do?” Meg said, making a quick glance at Cas as she did.

“It’s alright. I mean- you guys did great, but you know me Meg, this is not my scene, at all.” Dean glanced at Meg and back to Castiel, whose eyes, surprise surprise, were still on him. Did this dude ever blink?

“Dean here would rather be at home with watching TV or listen to his old classic rock records on full blast,” Meg gave Dean a quick smile and turned to Castiel, who didn’t even acknowledge Meg as she spoke “A travesty don’t you think Clarence?”

“It’s Castiel. I find television very diverting, and I enjoy classic rock. I see nothing wrong with a night in.” Cas said, eyes still on Dean.

No one said anything. Dean prayed for someone to say something, but no one said anything. Cas just stood there staring at Dean, and Dean stood there trying not to look as uncomfortable as he felt.

Finally Cas blinked a few times his eyes flicked down to Dean’s lips, and then turned to face Meg. “We’re almost on.” And then he just walked away.

Meg laughed, Luke rolled his eyes, and Crowley said something under his breath that sounded like “Every time.”

Ruby didn’t seem phased by the exchange at all, “He’s right they only have two more songs until they’re on. We should head out to make sure we can see! They put on a great show!”

Ruby dragged Sam by the hand, Dean followed behind. He glanced one last time at the couch where the members of Garrison had once again gathered. Castiel was saying something to Hael, who looked thoroughly annoyed, and who wouldn’t be? Guy was a dick as far as Dean was concerned.

\---

Ruby, Sam, Dean, Meg, and Crowley had made their way to the foot of the stage, right at the quarter mark, stage right. Luke had disappeared somewhere with his sleazy girlfriend Lilly. The crowd was loud, but it slowly quieted as Garrison could just barely be seen making their way to their instruments on the dark stage.

Dean closed his eyes, he was beginning to nurse a headache, this much social interaction was simply not what Dean liked. He had tried to make his escape outside to read, but Meg had begged him to stay for at least one song, “I know you’ll love Garrison!”

So here he was, standing in the middle of an overcrowded barn thanks to his stupid brother. Headache. Pride severely wounded by that dick Castiel and his stupid judgmental looks. About to be forced to watch said dick play some music that Dean was probably going to hate. Perfect.

The lights came up slowly, a bright blue was projected on the backdrop, casting the band into silhouette. The crowd cheered as Hael strummed the first few chords and started picking out the notes. Dean opened his eyes in surprise, _I know this song_ He thought to himself just as a gravely voice rang out over the crowd.

_A Company, always on the run._

_A Destiny, oh, it’s the rising sun._

Cas was sitting at his drum kit, but wasn’t playing, a mic was suspended right at his mouth.

Hael continued the light but intricate guitar notes.

_I was born, a shotgun in my hands._

_Behind the gun, I’ll make my final stand._

__

All instruments dropped out for a moment

_That’s why they call me._

As the lights came up on the stage, Cas went to town on the drums and Gabriel and Balthazar came in on bass and guitar respectively. The singing switched to Hael and Balthazar, and the entirety of the crowd sang along.

_Bad company_

_I can't deny_

_Bad bad company till the day I die_

_Until the day I die_

_Until the day I die_

__

Dean could not believe his ears. He’d been to quite a few of Ruby’s concerts in the two years since she and his brother had started seeing each other. Sometimes it was just her band. sometimes, like tonight, it was few bands, each playing a small set of songs. But Dean had never heard a classic rock song covered. Mostly the bands would do original songs or cover other current songs.

This was one of Dean’s favorite songs, and while Garrison’s version was certainly a little heavier than he was used to, he honestly liked it. What floored Dean in more was that every person in the barn knew all of the words. This song was over thirty years old. Dean was having a bit of an eye opening moment. This type of person would care about classic rock?

As soon as the thought formed in his mind he felt stupid for thinking it, what would stop anyone from liking one music over another? He wasn’t exactly the target audience, a nerdy, 26 year old, firefighter. Why wouldn’t a bunch of musicians appreciate other types of music?

Maybe it was because he was having a bit of an existential crisis in the middle of a rock concert, or maybe the look Cas gave him really was different, but when Dean looked back at the stage and his eyes caught Castiel’s it wasn’t hostel or confused like before. Cas was smiling, looking directly at Dean, who realized he was smiling as well.

 _You like it?_ Cas mouthed, still keeping perfect time with the song as Hael and Balthazar sung.

Dean nodded, maybe he’d been reading Castiel’s looks wrong.

Cas arched an eyebrow, his expression cocky, _Classic rock._

 _Yes._ Dean mouthed back nodding dumbly.

Castiel stared back at him as they neared the bridge, he spoke in his deep voice adding some words to their cover.

_Eye for an eye_

_And a tooth for a tooth_

_Blood for blood_

_We've all gotta die_

_We've all gotta die_

His eyes never left Dean’s. Hael came in with a Guitar solo and the crowd cheered. The chorus came back around and this time Cas was adding some back up vocals to Balthazar and Hael.

The song ended and the crowd’s noise was deafening. Dean almost put his hands up to his ears, but he was determined not to stand out more than he already did.

The next song started with a drum riff and Cas broke his eye contact with Dean to concentrate on the song. Dean felt like he had just woken up from a deep sleep or trance, and he was suddenly aware of Meg, Ruby, and Crowley staring at him, Crowley’s mouth was open in surprise. Sam, thankfully, was still watching the show.

“What?” Dean said although he was sure people could read his lips rather than hear him.

“Nothing” Ruby said with a smirk and returned to watching the show.

Crowley was still staring, slack jawed. Meg tapped him on the bottom of the chin and he shook his head, blinked a few time and went back to the show as well.

Meg was not as easily distracted. She hooked her arm into Dean’s and pulled him off away from the speakers. It was still loud, but he could actually hear Meg yell in his ear over the music.

“So you gay?”

“What?” Dean shouted, taken aback, had she really just asked him that?

“Are. You. Gay.”

“I- what? Why would you ask me that?”

“Well you and Clarence were having some serious eye sex there and I know where he stands in this. So, the question remains; are you queer?”

Dean blinked at her, panic rising up in his throat, no one knew. Not that he was ashamed of what he was, he liked men and women pretty equally, and he’d had plenty of experience with both. But no one in his life knew. Heck Sam had only met one of his former girlfriends and they had only dated for a few months. It just didn’t seem important unless he found someone he wanted to be with, like long term, and that was not something Dean was good at.

“I’ll take your stunned silence as a yes.” Meg moved to point back at the stage, “That boy over there, you know the one with big blue eyes, legs for days, been giving you eyes all day. He’s the closest thing I have to a sibling, I’ve known him my whole life, and I swear to God if you hurt him I will end you.”

“I- I didn’t do anything.” Dean stammered.

Meg held up her hand, “I don’t know why, but you’ve caught his eye, and my usually confident and smiley friend is acting like the world will end if he doesn’t get with you.”

She moved back to face him.

“I don’t know you that well, You strike me as the type of person who doesn’t have a lot of long term relationships, and that’s fine. But I know Cas and he is not someone who takes attraction lightly. He WILL fall for you if you let him. Don’t go into this if you aren’t ready for it.”

Meg gave him a wide grin, patted him on the back and walked back to where the rest of the group was still standing by the stage, an obvious spring in her step.

“What the hell.” Dean said to no one in particular, he needed some air.

Castiel who had been more concentrated on his drums finally looked back with a smile at where Dean had been standing. His face fell before his eyes darted around the room. But Dean was too far away from the stage now, he knew Cas couldn’t see him.

When he finally had made his way out the same exit door he had used that afternoon he settled himself in the same spot on the ground, pulling out his book again. But he didn’t read he just stared at the pages unable to process what had just happened.

What had he even done? He had walked in and stood next to his brother and said nothing. Done nothing. What had he done? The answer was simple. Nothing. He had simply been there.

If Dean was truly honest with himself he knew that he was attractive. He had bright green eyes and light brown hair. He was tall and muscular, a side effect of his profession. He had been called beautiful by more than one guy, and even a few girls. He knew people found him attractive.

From what Meg had just told him though it didn’t seem like Castiel was the type of person to just see someone and fall head over heels right then and there. So why? Why, would he be telling Meg to talk to him? It all seemed a little eighth grade to Dean.

Maybe he hadn’t said anything to her, maybe she had misread his looks and jumped the gun. Maybe Cas really was simply judging this newcomer and Meg was just thinking the best of her friend.

Dean sighed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hand. He could hear cheering as Garrison finished their second song. He leaned his back against the side of the barn. The next song started, it was considerably slower, Dean shut his eyes and let the music lull him to sleep, he really didn’t want to think about what he was gonna do.

\---

“Al, leave me the fuck alone!”

Dean awoke with a start, his neck pinched and he rubbed it as he took in his surroundings.

Meg had obviously just exited the door next to him, followed by a tall, thin, meth addict looking, guy. The door clicked shut as Dean stood, neither Meg or the guy seemed to notice him or just didn’t care that he was standing right there.

“I told you last week I was done and I meant it! You’re an asshole and I don’t want you in my life!”

“Meg-” the guy, Al, started, but Meg cut him off.

“No you need to go back inside, or leave, but I’m not doing this right now, You’re drunk and I’m not having this conversation with you!”

Al did not take that lightly and grabbed her wrist, “No you don’t get to fuck me and then leave me, you’re not the only one that gets a say here!”

Dean could see the situation escalating, and while he was pretty sure Meg could handle herself, he was not about to leave her alone with this belligerent idiot.

“Hey, man, why don’t you let her go” Damn. His voice cracked with sleep, nice, intimidating Winchester.

“Excuse me?” Al said at the exact time that Meg said, “Dean, don’t.”

But before he even had a chance to rethink his decision to get in the middle of this, Al’s fist connected with his jaw.

\---

There is a difference between fights in movies and tv, and fights in real life. In a movie when someone get socked in the face, even an everyday sort of person, they go down for a second and are right back up, usually spitting out some blood to make them look like a badass. In real life, it’s a little more grey. Sure there are people in the world who can keep on going after taking a fist to the face, Dean is not one of them. Apparently when fireman Dean Winchester gets punched full on in the face he goes down. No if, ands, or buts about it.

Dean is not a fighter, sure he had his share of school yards brawls, but that usually ended in rolling around on top of each other throwing weak punches at each other's stomachs while teachers pulled you off one another.

Dean had never been knocked out before. So he was a bit bewildered when one second Al’s fist was flying at his face and the next he was on the ground, blinking back into consciousness.

Some time had obviously passed because there were more than two voices shouting now. He opened his eyes to find two guys, one he didn’t recognize, the other was Luke, pushing Al against the wall, both shouting at him to calm down. Crowley was standing next Meg, his arm around her, phone to his ear.

Dean blinked again, someone was saying his name.

“Dean.”

His vision fuzzed

“Dean I need you to tell me if you’re in any pain, I don’t want to move you if you’ve broken something.”

Dean blinked again he moved his hand to his forehead, he didn’t feel pain other than a throbbing in his jaw, which was to be expected. _It’s probably bleeding_ he thought to himself.  

“Dean really, you’ve been out cold for about two minutes and I need you to say something, you’re starting to scare me.”

“m’fine” he slurred.

He pushed himself to sit up and felt an arm on his back helping him to a sitting position. He blinked again, looking toward the voice, blue eyes stared back at him beneath sweaty black hair.

“My jaw.” he touched it and pulled his hand away to find it covered in blood.

Maybe it was because it was obvious that Dean was about to start freaking out from the amount of blood on his hand, maybe Cas himself was trying not freak out, but Castiel started talking a mile a minute.

“You’re gonna be ok, an ambulance has been called. It looks like you hit your head on the wall after Al punched you. I came out looking for- Well I came out here and was able to get Al to leave Meg alone long enough to shout back through the door and get some help,” He swallowed audibly,  “Your jaw seems fine but your head is bleeding pretty badly.”

For the first time Dean was actually able to get his eyes to focus on Cas, he look terrified.

“I’m- uh. I can’t” Dean took a deep breath, his head wasn’t functioning right, so he just settled on saying, “My head?”

“You probably have a concussion.” Cas answered, smiling weakly at him.

Dean could hear sirens getting closer. He also noticed that Cas was holding his shirt to Dean’s head, Oh, and he was shirtless.

The door swung open again and Sam and Ruby were followed by Gabriel, and Balthazar.

Sam was at Dean’s side instantly asking him about 30 questions a once. Dean shook his head in vain, trying to clear the fog that kept creeping in on his thoughts.

“He’s having trouble talking,” Cas said, “Probably a concussion. Listen, I’m gonna go check on Meg, keep him awake until the ambulance is here.”

Sam’s hand replaced Cas’ holding the shirt to the back of his head.

Sam had started talking to him, but Dean couldn’t get his head to focus on more than one thing at a time, and he was much more interested in what had happened while he was out.

Al had calmed down and was sitting between Luke and the other guy who had been restraining him, his head in his hands. Meg looked like she was about to cry, a purple and yellow bruise was starting to form under her right eye. Crowley had hung up his phone, and was talking to Castiel and Balthazar.

Gabriel, Ruby, and Hael were off near the parking lot waving down, what must have been, the ambulance or police, because bright red and blue lights were flashing all over them. Dean could feel his head beginning to swim again, and the dancing lights were not helping. He looked back at Sam,and he could feel the blood drain out of his face.

“Dean?”

He saw Sam say his name more than heard, his head was throbbing. He knew he was supposed to stay awake, but his head hurt too much, and he let the darkness creep back in.


	2. Take On Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates can be found on [my tumblr.](http://casintheshire.tumblr.com/tagged/hwbhb)
> 
> My lovely beta [Vicky](http://hclmes.co.vu/) is an absolute gem!
> 
> A few notes on music:
> 
> The title of the fic is in reference to a [STYX song.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmpZ230vd50)
> 
> The title of this chapter is in reference to [this song by a-ha.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914)
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 2- Take On Me

 

_Talking away_

_I don't know what I'm to say_

_I'll say it anyway_

_Today isn't my day to find you_

_Shying away_

_I'll be coming for your love, OK?_

\---

 

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

Dean was awake, but he hadn’t opened his eyes yet, the last time he had he was in the ambulance and they were shoving needles into him. Dean hated needles. For now he feigned sleep, hoping it would draw him back under before someone had the chance to start poking at him again.

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

Dean sighed quietly, he was never going to be able to sleep with that incessant beeping, a heart monitor most likely. But hey, at least that meant he was alive. He shifted his head slightly, causing an agonizing pain to spark where he was sure stitches now held his scalp together. He let out a startled groan.

Dean was able to pick out at least 3 different gasps, presumably in response to the noise he had just made. Of course people were here in the hospital with him, and like an idiot he had just announced to them all that he was awake.

“Dean?”

He didn’t respond, he really didn’t feel like talking, he was in pain, and he shouldn’t have to talk to people! He heard the faint creak of a door opened opening somewhere off to his right.

The voice, which he had now determined was Sam’s, spoke again, it was muffled this time, “Doctor, I think my brother’s waking up.”

Great. Well, at least he had gotten a few moments to himself before being barraged with questions.

Opening his eyes as much as he dared, he could see Sam standing by the door, and Ruby just at his heels. Meg was leaning against a wall at the foot of his bed, an icepack held to her face, she caught his eye.

“Hey there Deano, you waking up?” she smirked, Dean was pretty sure he could detect a smugness in her voice. For someone who had just been beaten up by her, Dean guessed, ex-boyfriend, she seemed awfully chipper.

“I think so.” Dean pushed himself up in the bed a little, taking stock of his condition.

He did not have an IV even though he distinctly remembered needles. There were some wires leading under his shirt, no wait, hospital gown. Touching his head told him that it was wrapped in gauze, cute. At least he was still wearing underwear.

Sam rushed to his side saying about ten things at once. _Are you okay? How are you feeling? I’m going to kill Alistair!_ were the ones that Dean could make out, his head still spinning from the fight.

A doctor entered the room and pulled a swivel stool over the the side of the bed. A quick look at his badge told him that he was at the UW medical center.

“Hello Mr. Winchester, I’m Dr. Blake, how are you feeling?”

“My head hurts, but it feels better than it did before… before I”

“Passed out?” Dr. Blake offered

“Yeah.” Dean was getting really sick of not being able to talk properly.

“Do you remember what day it is?”

“Sunday” At least he could get that much out without stammering.

“Are you noticing any changes in your vision? Blind spots? Fuzziness?” Dr. Blake took a pen-light from her pocket and leaned in closer to Dean.

“No.”

She took the light, and shone it into Dean’s eyes. He blinked, unable to see much outside of the bright circle that filled most of his vision.

“Well- When I. Before,” Dean stopped and took a deep breath, trying to focus on words that seemed to be eluding his thoughts, “It was blurry.”

“And what about now?

“Not anymore, now it’s fine.” Dean smiled, he probably look pretty stupid, grinning like an idiot, but hey, he had just completed an actual sentence, and progress should be celebrated.

Dr. Blake turned off the light and sat back, “That’s normal.”

She looked at her notes, scribbling something down, and then turned to give Dean a bright smile.

“Well, you seem to be doing as good as can be expected. You have a concussion, but it’s not the worst I’ve seen. You will probably experience some nausea and trouble with speech for a day or so, but it will pass. As long as someone will be able to look after you for the next 48 hours I can release you right now.” She looked at the other people in the room, her eyes passing over Sam, Ruby and Meg and then over to the window. Wait was there someone else in the room?

Dean turned his head and was greeted by the last person he expected to find sitting on the window seat, Castiel, whose eyes were fixed on his.

“I’ll take some time off work, we’ve got it.” Sam said, drawing Dean’s attention back to the other side of the room and away from the blue eyes at the window.

“Wait, Sammy.” Dean wanted to tell him that he’d be fine and that they couldn’t afford for both him and Sam to be missing work, but all that came out was, “you can’t- I can’t. Sam no.”

Dean sighed, frustrated at himself, he had just made a complete sentence and now he was babbling like a lunatic again. One step forward, two steps back.

To his surprise, Castiel was the next person to speak.

“It sounds like Dean doesn’t want you to miss work.”

Dean studied Castiel, he wore an expression that could only be described as constipation. Dean had to stifle a laugh. Cas was looking at Sam, but his eyes kept flicking back to Dean in the hospital bed.

Meg pushed herself off the wall she had been leaning on. She gave Dean a knowing smile, and then winked, freaking winked, at Dean.

“Cas,” She said, turning toward the drummer, “you don’t have to work tomorrow- uh today, right? You could look after him until Sam’s off of work, right?”

What? No! That was not what Dean had wanted, what about Meg? What about Ruby? What about just staying at the hospital?

To Dean’s relief Castiel immediately backpedaled, “Oh no, that wasn’t what I meant- I was just trying to translate. I mean, Dean was having trouble speaking so I-”

A cough erupted from Cas’ chest, ending his panicked monologue. His eyes went wide with surprise and locked with Dean’s briefly before looking down at his hands. He was cute when was freaking out.

“Clarence,” Meg said, which was almost simultaneously corrected with a, “It’s Castiel” from Cas.

Meg didn’t seem to notice the correction and continued, “I have to work tomorrow, so does Sam, and Ruby has class all day. Could you imagine poor Dean here all by himself? All day, with no one to talk to? You would be doing everyone a favor. You’d save Sam and Dean a lot of money and who knows, you might even get to know Dean better.”

Castiel was giving Meg one hell of a death glare if Dean had ever seen one. Ok, he had definitely been wrong about the looks he had been receiving at the concert, he still wasn’t sure what they were, but they certainly weren’t hate.

Meg just stared sweetly back at Cas, unaffected by the obvious anger emanating from him.

“Meg, will you leave him alone.” Thank God for Sam and his level head, “Cas, you don’t have to take care of Dean, it’s fine I’ll take off work for a day, it’s only one day.”

“Alright so, you’ll want to wake your brother up every 30 mins for the next 6 hours,” The doctor said, beginning to give Sam instructions for Dean’s care.

Meg gave Cas a pointed glare. Cas stared back at her, they appeared to be having a silent argument comprised of only Meg rolling her eyes and Cas shaking his head, eyes wide with fear. Meg had said that she and Castiel were like siblings, and if Dean knew anything about siblings it was that a lot of things could be said to one another with just eye rolls and head shakes.

Castiel appeared to be losing the battle. Meg gave one final stern look, mouthed something to Cas and over dramatically pointed at Sam and the doctor, whose back was to them.

Castiel’s eyes flicked from Meg to Dean and then back to Meg. He closed his eyes, took a shallow breath and blurted out, “Sam, wait.”

The entire room turned to face Cas, who looked very uncomfortable, but swallowed and continued,  “Dean’s right, it doesn’t make sense for both of you to be out of work. I have the day off, I would be more than happy to look after Dean.”

The doctor looked severely annoyed with being cut off by Cas. Meg leaned back against the wall, clearly pleased with herself.

“I mean, I don’t want to impose, and I hardly know you, but if you needed me, I am free today,” Cas backpedaled again. For a rocker, this dude was awfully concerned with being polite.

Sam was telling Cas that he didn’t have to, that it was fine. Meg was looking between Dean and Cas, a triumphant grin on her face.

“Sam, I’ve known Cas a long time, and so has Meg, if he says he can do this, we can trust him. Dean will be well looked after, I promise.” Ruby smiled sweetly at Sam and winked at Dean. Why was everyone winking at him tonight?

“Listen, I can’t sit here all night, I have other patients to see, whoever is going to look after Dean needs to decide right now.”

Dean sighed in defeat. He knew the decision was already made.

“If you’re sure it’s alright Cas.”

“It is.”

“Alright so, Cas is it?” Dr. Blake said swiveling to face Castiel, “You’ll want to wake Dean up every 30 mins for the next 6 hours, and then every 2 hours for the 6 following that. No need to make him get out of bed, just make sure he can say something coherent to you, then you can let him go back to sleep.” Cas nodded, and the doctor gave him a piece of paper.

She turned to face Sam and handed him a piece of paper as well, “That is everything I just told you and my contact info. Call me if he won’t wake up, or if you have any questions. If everything goes smoothly he’ll be back to his old self in a few days. Call me on Tuesday alright?”

Sam indicated that he would call her and thanked the doctor before she left.

Ruby left with Meg not long after, as they both had early starts, and apparently, it was three in the morning.

With Ruby gone, Dean and Sam were left to get a ride home with Cas.

 

\---

Being brought to the car in a wheelchair had been bad enough, but having to lean on Castiel while Sam ran to unlock their front door was worse. Plus Dean felt like he was going throw up at any moment.

By the time Cas and Dean had reached the front door Sam had already gone to get some sheets from upstairs and was spreading them on the couch, at least Dean would be able to watch TV or go on his laptop.

Cas led Dean over to the couch and helped him to sit. This was humiliating, but the humiliation was soon overtaken by the sudden need to empty the contents of his stomach.

“Bucket.” Was all he could choke out, partly because he didn’t trust himself to open his mouth for long without blowing chunks, and partly because he was still having trouble forming sentences.

Sam was at his side in moments, bucket in hand. Perfect timing too, because Dean was face down in it immediately.

“Are you sure you can handle this?” Sam asked Cas while rubbing circles into his brother's back  “I mean you don’t even really know us. I can still call in to work.”

“Really Sam, it’s fine,” Cas winced as Dean made a retching sound into the bucket, “I don’t have anything better to do, and it sounds like Dean will be asleep most of the day anyway. You’ll only be gone a few hours. It’s not a problem.”

Sam looked at the clock, “Five fifteen, gotta be at work in forty five minutes. I’m gonna go take a shower if it’s alright with you.”

“Yes please do. I’m fine, and it looks like Dean is almost asleep.”

He wasn’t lying, Dean decided that sleep was inevitable, and gave in.

\---

When Dean opened his eyes, the TV was on. The bucket, which had thankfully been cleaned out, was sitting on the floor just below where his head rested on the couch.

Castiel was seated on the other couch, but he wasn’t watching the TV, instead he was plucking at a guitar stopping every few notes to write on some loose paper.

The clock read just after one pm, he’d been asleep for almost 8 hours. His head throbbed and his mouth was dry. He pushed himself into an upright position.

“Drums. Guitar. Exactly how many instruments do you play?”

“That depends on your definition of instruments,” Cas stopped playing to look at Dean, giving him a wry smile, “and your definition of play.”

Dean chuckled, which caused his head to swim, oh yeah, concussion. He absentmindedly pinched the bridge of his nose, screwing his eyes shut.

“How are you feeling?” Cas placed his guitar on the couch and crossed the room to kneel next to Dean.

“My head hurts, but I don’t feel like I’m gonna hurl anymore.” Dean took a beat and added, “And I’m able to form full sentences now, so that’s nice.”

Cas nodded, “Do you need anything?”

“Water?”

“Yes. I’ll be right back,” Castiel left Dean’s line of sight but he could hear him running the tap in the kitchen behind him.

Dean reached his hand around to the side of his head, the large bandage was gone, all that remained was a square piece of gauze taped to his hair.

Cas returned with a glass of water, he handed it to Dean, and went back to the other couch, but he did not pick his guitar back up. Instead he stared at Dean. Ah yes, now Dean remembered why he was so uncomfortable with Castiel being the one to look after him.

“Did I do something wrong?” Dean asked, he was almost surprised he said it out loud, this concussion was causing him to speak when maybe he shouldn't.

“What?” Cas said tilting his head, his nose wrinkling, confusion crossing his face.

“Did I do something wrong? You’ve been staring at me all night- all last night, and I don’t know what I did.” Dean took in a slow breath, “I’m sorry, but I really don’t think I did anything to deserve being-”

Castiel looked mortified, “Oh Dean, I’m so sorry. No you didn’t do anything wrong.”

He stood up and began to pace the floor nervously, which if Dean was honest with himself, was pretty adorable.

“I-” Cas started, but apparently thought better of it and took to pacing the floor again, shoving his hands into his pockets.

He stopped again and glanced at Dean, before moving his eyes to the ceiling and forcing out through gritted teeth, “I find you attractive.”

Well that was not what Dean was expecting... even if Meg had blatantly told him so.

“You find me…” Dean started.

“Attractive, yes,” Cas finished, moving his eyes back to Dean’s face for a brief moment before returning to his pacing, “I saw you standing in the doorway of The Barn, and couldn’t take my eyes off of you for the rest of the night.”

Cas took a deep breath and chuckled, “My being infatuated with you probably saved you and Meg from sustaining far more serious injuries.”

When Dean gave no indication of understanding what Cas meant he added, “I was coming outside to look for you.”

Just then Sam came in through the front door. Gotta love brothers and their perfect timing, it was a super power of Sam’s, Dean was sure of it.

“Anybody home?” he called.

“We’re still in the living room.” Cas said moving back to the other couch to grab his guitar and paper, knocking the stack onto the ground in the process, scattering it on the floor.

“And the invalid?” Sam said still out of sight

“Awake.” Dean took it on himself to call out, but he didn’t take his eyes off the nervous man in front of him, who was currently fumbling with getting his papers collected.

All those looks last night really were interest and not hate afterall. Dean would have to remember to trust Meg next time she told him something he thought impossible.

Sam had finished putting his coat in the hall closet and his keys in the bowl by the door.

“Oh good. Man, I almost called about five times. You feeling any better?” Sam asked, coming into view.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just woke up a few minutes ago.” Dean said, wondering why Castiel wouldn’t look at him.

“He was almost impossible to wake up every half hour but I got him to tell me the date every time.” Cas said, not looking at Dean or Sam, instead concentrating far too intently on putting his guitar into it’s case on the ground.

“I know, hes a bit of a heavy sleeper. You know, once when we were younger, Dean slept through a shootout that took place across the street from our house!” Sam laughed, Cas gave Sam a skeptical look, Sam just shrugged and added, “We didn’t live in the best neighborhood.”

Cas had gone back to his guitar, obviously stalling.

Sam seemed to have caught on to the tension in the room, “I’m gonna use the bathroom real quick, then I’ll walk you out alright?” He was totally ditching Dean, the jerk.

“That will be fine.” Cas said. Dean really did think his cadence was funny sometimes.

Cas set his guitar case on the couch. He stood up, and took a deep breath, almost like he was trying to decide whether or not to say something to Dean. All at once he turned and brought himself to sit down next to Dean, still not meeting his eyes. It was ironic, he had done nothing but stare into Dean’s eyes all night, and now he seemed incapable of it. Dean turned his body toward Castiel’s, but Cas still stared forward.

“I don’t know when I will see you again, and I know you might not be thinking clearly right now, but I’ll regret this if I don’t at least try.” He fished a receipt and pen out of his pocket, “Can I take you out sometime?”

“What?” Why Dean was so surprised, he wasn’t sure. It was obvious that this conversation had been leading here, wasn’t it? He decided to blame the concussion rather than his own denial at someone possibly being interested in him, it was easier that way.

“Can I take you out sometime? I wasn’t lying, I find you extremely attractive. Meg likes you, and she hates everyone so…” He trailed off before looking down at the receipt to quickly scrawl something on it.

“Really?” Dean asked dumbly.

“Yes.” he said, looking up, finally turning to face Dean.

“Alright.” Wait, what? did he just agree to that out loud?

“Alright” Cas echoed, his lips turning up slightly at the corners. He handed the receipt to Dean, “Until then.”

Castiel picked up his guitar case and left the room, Sam having just called that he was out of the bathroom.

Dean looked down at the receipt. It was for a case of beer and pack of ball point pens. On the back written neat script was “Text me. -Cas” followed by his phone number.

Despite being capable of full sentences again all Dean could think to say was, “Huh.”

\---

Time was dragging for Dean. He was not allowed to go back to work until he had the go-ahead from the Doctor, which would happen on Thursday, God willing. The Chief had told him to take the weekend off as well.

Dean was not built to sit still this long. Sure he liked his space but he would still go running and work out on his days off. He wasn’t lazy, he just liked being alone.

This was torture, he wasn’t allowed any physical activity until Thursday and he was going crazy.

Sam had work or school every day, and spent most of his time in between out with Ruby or  sleeping.

By Tuesday afternoon he had finished The Count of Monte Cristo and watched 4 movies. He had also dreamt about Castiel’s eyes no less than 5 times, not that Dean had been keeping track.

Dean convinced himself that it was boredom and not attraction that led him to text Castiel on Wednesday morning, even if it wasn’t true. He pulled out his phone and stared at his blank text screen for a full 10 minutes before typing out and sending:

// Hey

Followed quickly by:

// This is Dean btw

Not two minutes had passed when he felt his phone buzz on the couch beside him. Two replies came in rapid succession.

Castiel// Dean!

Castiel// I did not expect to hear from you so soon.

When Dean couldn’t think of anything to text back Castiel filled the void with:

Castiel// How are you feeling?

// Fine

// Head doesn’t hurt much anymore I’ve taken the bandage off and haven’t ralphed since I saw you so that’s good

Castiel// Who’s Ralph?

Dean couldn’t help but laugh before replying:

// to ralph. its a euphemism for throwing up

When Castiel didn’t reply immediately Dean tried not to feel disappointed and resisted the urge to text him back, instead he went back to his book, The Man in The Iron Mask, he was on a Dumas kick recently.

When the phone buzzed again it was 45 mins later.

Castiel// Are you still interested in going on a date with me?

Dean wanted to say, _Fuck yes I am! I haven't been able to stop thinking about your eyes since Sunday, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you’re stupid messy hair, or how nervous you got when talking to me._ Instead he went with,

// Yes

And not 30 seconds later Castiel responded,

Castiel// Are you free Friday evening?

// Considering they aren't letting me return to work until Monday yeah im free

Castiel// Can I pick you up at 7?

// That sounds great

Castiel// Very well, I’ll see you Friday, at 7pm.

Dean didn’t want the conversation to be over, he wanted to know everything about Castiel, but he didn’t want to seem desperate or creepy. What was he so scared of though, Castiel was obviously interested in him and anyway, and he was really fucking bored. Oh, screw it!

// Whats your favorite color?

Castiel// Green, and yours?

// Blue

He didn’t add _like your eyes_ , even though he wanted to.

\---

Dean was most definitely not nervous for this date. Dean Winchester did not get nervous. He had run into burning buildings and pulled people who were missing limbs, out of ruined cars. No, Dean Winchester was much too brave to be nervous for a first date.

Since Wednesday Dean had done his fair share of bothering Ruby with questions about Castiel. He had learned that Cas was 28, two years older than Dean. He liked to run, and was a very reserved person. Ruby had known him for almost three years and had hardly spoken to him.

Dean walked over to the mirror that hung in the front room. His was hair pushed up in the front and he wore a nice black button down shirt and his nicest pair of dark jeans. Very presentable, but still he couldn’t shake the feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Maybe he should cancel, no one would blame him. After all, he had been knocked unconscious and spent the night in the hospital less than a week ago. Yes, he would text Cas, apologise, but he just really couldn’t go out tonight, not feeling too great. What about next week?

Just then there was a knock at the front door. Shit, why didn’t he think of these things sooner? Oh well he could always use the excuse if he needed to escape the date early, right?

When Dean opened the door he was greeted by a very different Castiel than the one he had seen on Monday. This was not a rockstar, this was the complete opposite.

Cas was wearing light jeans, a dark green tee and a maroon hoodie, his hair was laying flat on his head, not a bit of hair product in sight. Dean suddenly felt very overdressed.

“Hello Dean. You look nice.” Castiel said, his voice still impossibly deep.

“Thank you,” Dean mumbled, and before he thought better of it added, “You look different.”

Dean immediately tried to apologize for his bluntness, but Castiel only laughed, “It’s alright Dean, I don’t always dress like I’m going to a concert. Although I don’t always dress like this either, I came straight from work, normal me is somewhere between what you’re seeing right now and what you saw Sunday night.”

“Oh?” Dean said trying not to let the conversation lull, “Where do you work?”

“A Gas station outside of Seattle,” Cas said simply, still staring at Dean, “It’s not glamorous, but it pays the bills.”

“Ah,” Dean said.

He rocked back on his heels, unsure of what to say next, thankfully Castiel spoke up again, “Well, Shall we? I don’t want to be late. Does a movie sound alright?”

He gave Dean a smirk and stepped aside, gesturing for Dean to lead the way to the car. Where did all of this confidence suddenly come from?

“Um-,” Dean started, stepping out of the house, locking the door behind him, “Yeah, a movie sounds great.”

Why was he unable to think of anything interesting to say? It was not the piercing blue eyes that he knew were peering at him from beneath messy black hair. It just wasn’t.

\---

Two sodas and a large popcorn later, Dean and Cas found themselves in the relative center of the theater. It was about as packed as you’d expect a friday night movie to be.

Cas was seated to Dean’s left, neither of them had placed their drinks in the cupholder between them. As far as Dean was concerned it was an extremely conscious decision. I mean come on, first date, a dark movie theater, he was not about to let a soda put him off his game.

“So, have you seen the first one?” Dean figured now was as good a time as any to start laying the flirt game on thick. He placed an elbow on the armrest between them, leaning into Cas’ space.

Cas jumped back at the sudden closeness, “First one what?”

“The first movie? ‘Hunters’?” Cas stared blankly back at Dean, “Wait you mean to tell me that we are seeing the sequel to a movie you haven’t even seen?”

Castiel glanced at the screen, where a chipper young woman was telling people to turn off their cellphones with far too much enthusiasm, before muttering, “Yes. Is it important that I know what happened in the first one?”

“Oh man, ok,” Dean laughed. He pulled out his phone and turned it to silent, trying to find the best way to summarize the first movie.

“Alright, long and short of it. There are two brothers who hunt demons, and ghost, and junk for a living.” Dean started, still leaning on the armrest, still leaning into Cas’ space.

“Do people pay them to kill these things?” Cas inquired, he wasn’t leaning away from Dean, but he was obviously uncomfortable.

Dean took the hint and put a bit of space between them before waving off the question, “Not important,but if you must know, they hustle pool. Now shush, I need to get the entire plot of the first movie out before the previews start.”

“It’s fine Dean, I doubt I’ll be paying much attention to the movie.”

Wait what? That was forward, even for Dean’s style. Cas appeared to have realised what he just said.

“Oh no. I didn’t mean that. I just don’t understand movies. I find them hard to follow.” Cas’ cheeks were beginning to turn a light shade of pink.

Dean chuckled, he was going to continue explaining the first movie, but his eyes locked with Cas’ and he forgot how to speak. What was it about those eyes that seemed to take his breath away? He was such a freaking girl.

The lights dimmed, effectively ending their conversation. A green light bounced off the screen as the MPAA intro for the first trailer came onto screen.

Dean leaned back into his own seat, still looking at Castiel, who was still looking back at him. The first trailer started, it was for some horror movie that Dean had never heard of. Cas was breathing heavily, he licked his lips.

Why had Dean never noticed those lips? He had spent so much time fantasizing about Cas’ eyes he had forgotten about the rest of the package. Dean almost leaned into kiss Cas, but a girl on the screen screamed, and both Dean and Cas jumped, breaking the spell that seemed to be holding their eyes together. Dean chuckled before turning to enjoy the rest of the previews. He would had have time to kiss Cas later.

\---

Castiel seemed nervous enough, for all his confidence when he picked Dean up for the date, he had reverted back into the Cas who had refused to look Dean in the eyes as he confessed his attraction. His left knee was bouncing rapidly and he gripped the popcorn bag where it was perched atop his right leg with both hands.

The plot of the movie had picked up right where the first had left off. One of the brothers had awoken in a hospital to find that no one was able to see or hear him. Something about the Grim Reaper or somesuch. Dean wasn’t following the plot though, he was distracted by the man sitting next to him.

Castiel was sweating buckets, and now that he thought about it, Dean’s own hands were starting to sweat. He rubbed his palm on his jeans, trying to dry them, nothing was worse than holding someone’s clammy hand.

Why was he freaking out? This was not his first first-date. Heck, this wasn’t even his first date with a guy. He literally had no reason to be nervous.

Come on Winchester, nut up! he said to himself and reached for the popcorn bag.

Cas tensed the entire time Dean’s hand was in the bag, and while he didn’t move his head to look down, Dean was positive the other man was staring at his hand in the bag. As soon as Dean had taken back his hand, full of popcorn, Castiel placed the bag on the ground between, and resumed the nervous bouncing of his leg.

\---

Cas’ hands were both gripping his knees, he looked like he was waiting to get his teeth pulled out, not like he was on a first date. Dean knew Cas wanted him here, why would he have asked him out if he didn’t? But, he was getting some serious mixed signals here.

Dean had ‘casually’ opened his legs a bit so that his left leg pressed against Cas’ right leg lightly. Cas had almost choked on a mouthful of soda. Alright, maybe he should slow down a bit, no rush right? He didn’t want to scare Cas off.

Dean decided paying attention the every breath that Cas took was doing him no good, and turned his full attention back to the screen.

The brother’s had found themselves in some sort of time loop, groundhogs day situation. The day had been resetting every time the older brother died, leaving the younger brother to relive the same day over and over again.

The younger brother was in the middle of explaining to the older how he had seen him die numerous times, most recently by being hit by a car.

_“And?”_

_“And what?”_

_“Did it look cool, like in the movies?”_

_“You peed yourself.”_

_“Of course, I peed myself. Man gets hit by a car, you think he has full control of his bladder? Come on!”_

Dean laughed and in doing so threw his head back. There was a thud, followed by pain. Oh right, stitches.

He groaned and moved his hand up to his head. Castiel was there instantly, looking him in the eyes, inches from his face.

“Are you alright?” He whispered.

“I’m fine Cas.” Dean gave smile, pressing the heel of his hand into the throbbing spot on the back of his head.

Something felt different, Dean’s leg was warm. He looked down to find that in his concern, Castiel had put his hand on Dean’s leg.

His heart started pounding, what should he do? Grab Cas’ hand? Ignore it and let Cas take the lead?

He was positive Cas could hear his heart beating out of his chest. Dean gulped, taking a quick breath. No. No, he would take control of the situation. Bringing his hand down from his head, he reached his arm over the back of Cas’ chair and settled his hand on his opposite shoulder.

He hadn’t realized Cas had been holding his breath, but as soon as Dean placed his arm around Cas, he heard a low exhale, and felt Cas relax beneath his arm. Cas, whose hand had been laying lightly between Dean’s hip and knee, slowly moved it down closer to Dean’s knee.

They settled and turned their attention back to the screen, popcorn and drinks forgotten.

\---

_“Well then… We got work to do.”_

The older of the two brothers slammed the trunk of their car and the screen went black.  It was met with a few people saying “Awesome” and some scattered applause.

“Nice! That was amazing! What did you think?” Dean turned to look at Cas, but as was becoming the pattern with them, they’re eyes locked, and they sat there for a moment.

The theater was coming back to life, people grabbing their belongings and moving towards the exits. Behind Dean and Cas a man shot a “Get a room fags.” in their direction.

Dean wasn’t phased, “Jealous, dick?”

The man huffed, but continued to make his way to the door.

When Dean turned back to Cas his blue eyes were widened in surprise or maybe fear, Dean couldn’t tell. He quickly took his hand off of Dean’s leg and stood up.

“Don’t worry about him man, he’s probably just banging on the inside of his closet door.”

Dean tried to judge Castiel’s reaction but he turned his back on Dean and started to walk down the aisle, shoving his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

Shit. Was that a bit to alpha male for Cas? Was he embarrassed by the attention?

Dean hurried behind him, tossing the still very full popcorn and drinks in the trash on their way out of the theater.

“Are you alright?” Dean asked as they stepped out into the night air.

“I’m fine Dean.” Castiel said. The tone he used would have seemed like annoyance on anyone else, but on Cas it just sort of seemed like sadness.

Castiel drew up his hood as they left the theater, and he didn’t pull it back down when they got in the car.

After any other date Dean would have grabbed for Cas’ hand on the drive home, but the mood had taken a strange turn. Instead, Dean settled for looking out the window.

Dean was beginning to wonder if he did something wrong as they pulled into his driveway. Cas was out of the car and opening Dean’s door in an instant. He walked Dean up to the front door without a word.

“I-uh, I had a good time Castiel.” Dean clenched and unclenched the hand that had been on Cas’ shoulder, it was tingling. Come to think of it, so was the spot on his leg where Cas’ hand had been.

“As did I,” Cas bringing his eyes up to Dean’s for the first time since they left the theater, “I hope you had a good time.”

“I just said I did.”

“Ah. Yes. Well,” Castiel’s eyes glanced down at Dean’s lips and Dean was fully expecting Cas to lean and kiss him, but instead he said, “Good night Dean.”

Cas turned on his heel, went directly to his car, and pulled out of the driveway before Dean could really process what had just happened.

\---

Dean was spiraling. Lying on his back in the middle of his bed he had begun the dangerous process of dissecting everything that happened on the date, trying to find exactly where he had gone wrong. He had made sure to press his leg into Castiel’s, he took the lead when it seemed like Cas wouldn’t. What had he done wrong?

This was bad, Dean was way too attached to Castiel. Dean had had way worse first dates than this one, and he had never sat up late like this. There was something about this guy, that had Dean all tied up in knots.

His uptight air and inability to look Dean in the eyes without stuttering. The way he had played the drums on Sunday. The way he had kept his eyes locked on Dean’s while continuing to drum with flawless execution. The way he had nervously paced the living room the next morning. Even the way he had shut down after Dean told off the idiot in the theater.

Dean could feel himself falling.

Meg had seen it coming, she had known right away that there was some sort of spark between Castiel and himself.

 _He will fall for you if you let him. Don’t go into this if you aren’t ready for it_. She had told him.

What she hadn’t warned him about was how hard and fast Dean would fall, and as much as Dean hated to admit it, he was falling for Castiel. Although, it looked like he had shot that horse in the foot pretty quickly.

He must have done something wrong. Maybe he had read the signs wrong. Maybe Castiel had been praying for Dean to take his arm off of his shoulder through the entire movie.

He sighed, Sam was snoring loudly in the other room, there was no way he was going to fall asleep anytime soon. He checked the time on his phone, it had been almost an hour since Castiel had dropped him off. Something else caught his eye though, a little letter icon had appeared in the top right corner of the screen.

A text message? Why hadn’t he heard it? A brief memory of a perky girl telling everyone to silence their phones came back to Dean. He grumbled and turned his volume back up.

He tapped the icon and what appeared on the screen was the last thing he expected.

Castiel// When can I see you again?


	3. Workin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates can be found on [my tumblr.](http://casintheshire.tumblr.com/tagged/hwbhb)
> 
> This chapter is unbetad, although I have read and reread this thing so it should be fine.
> 
> A few notes on music:
> 
> The title of the fic is in reference to a [STYX song.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmpZ230vd50)
> 
> The title of this chapter is in reference to [this song by Lynyrd Skynrd.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-H5p7gjUk8)
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 3- Workin’

_I was raised on the poor side of town_

_I made my livin' movin' around_

_I never let no one dog me down_

_Oh I was taught to stand my ground_

_Life was always changin'_

_That's just the way it is_

_So I keep on workin'_

\---

Saturday July 13th

(12:32 am) When can I see you again?

Dean (1:37 am) Now’s good

(1:38 am) As much as I would enjoy that, I have to work in the morning.

Dean (1:40 am) That’s not my fault

(1:41 am) What about tomorrow night?

Dean (1:43 am) Can’t, dinner plans with the sasquatch

(1:43 am) Who?

Dean (1:44 am) My brother

Dean (1:45 am) Sunday?

(1:45 am) Unfortunately, I am the one who has plans.

(1:45 am) I’m free Monday night. Although, as I recall it, you are going back to work on Monday.

Dean (1:46 am) Yeah but they are only giving me an 8 hour shift I think Victor is trying to go easy on me

Dean (1:46 am) Even though I’m fine

Dean (1:47 am) I went to the gym today and everything

Dean (1:49 am) What I’m saying is yes, Monday works

Dean (1:51 am) Cas?

(1:58 am) Sorry Dean. I’m ashamed to admit I fell asleep for a minute.

Dean (1:58 am) It’s alright

Dean (1:59 am) So Monday?

(1:59 am) Yes, I’ll look forward to it.

Dean (2:00 am) Great

Dean (2:00 am) It’s a date

Dean (2:01 am) Now get to bed

Dean (2:01 am) Can’t have you falling asleep on the job

Dean (2:02 am) I’ll take your radio silence as confirmation of advice taken

(6:34 am) You would be correct

 

Dean (12:13 pm) Oh god, who in their right mind is up that early on a saturday?

(12:28 pm) People who have jobs Dean.

Dean (12:29 pm) it’s unnatural

(12:30 pm) If you say so.

 

Dean (8:49 pm) So Sam is going to propose to Ruby

(8:50 pm) Congratulations! Gabriel will be happy. He has a pool going on when they’ll get engaged. If I remember correctly Gabe is betting by the end of the month.

Dean (8:51 pm) your friends are weird

(8:51 pm) They can be, yes.

Sunday July 14th

Dean (12:20 pm) What, no texts at the asscrack of dawn today?

(12:22 pm) I didn’t need to get up early for work today.

 

Dean (2:00 pm) Man I’m bored as shit, I can’t wait to go back to work

 

Dean (3:57 pm) you know as much as Jurassic Park is fucking awesome, they got a lot wrong

Dean (3:58 pm) for instance velociraptors were really about the size of large turkeys and had feathers

Dean (3:59 pm) hardly the blood thirsty monsters that Crichton and Spielberg want us to believe they were

 

Dean (7:20 pm) So tomorrow…

Dean (7:21 pm) I work until 3

Dean (7:22 pm) If you still wanted to get together that is

 

(9:49 pm) I’m sorry Dean, I had my phone off. Of course I still want to get together. I have work as well, shall we meet at your place, say 6?

(9:50 pm) Doesn’t an eight hour shift ending at 3 mean you’ll be up at the “asscrack of dawn”? I thought that was unnatural.

Dean (9:51 pm) Ugh don’t remind me

(9:53 pm) Get some sleep, can’t have you falling asleep on the job.

Dean (9:53 pm) Don’t use my own advice against me!

(9:54 pm) If I fall asleep at work someone steals a candy bar. If you fall asleep, you burn to death.

Dean (9:54 pm) Point taken

Dean (9:54 pm) Night Cas

(9:55 pm) Good night Dean.

\---

There was a Gas-N-Sip just off of the 405. This particular Gas-N-Sip had six gas pumps, two slushie machines, and it was open 24/7, even on holidays. It was situated right in the middle of an industrial district and most of it’s patrons were blue collar factory workers.

Castiel Novak had been working here since he moved to Washington. It was one of the busier ones in the area, and Cas had done well there. Almost three years and he was a top sales associate. He was in charge of inventory and was able to get nights off for concerts whenever he wanted. It worked well for him.

The Gas-N-Sip was a nightly stop for most people who worked in the nearby factories, grabbing a snack or a case of beer to help them unwind after a long days work. The mostly gruff and quiet clientele was perfect for Cas, who spoke as little as possible to people he didn’t know. He loved the rush at the end of every work day, everyone eager to get home.

Monday mornings however, not so busy. In fact, this particular Monday morning had been dead. It was mid morning, Castiel hadn’t seen anyone in almost an hour and he was beginning to run out of things to clean. There are only so many times you can inventory chip bags before you start to lose it.

It had been two days since Dean and Cas had had their first date. A week since they first met, and Castiel was already head over heels in love. He had tried to stop it, but even he could admit to himself that it had been a half hearted effort. Castiel had a pattern of falling too hard and too fast, but for the first time in years he really didn’t care. He was tired of guarding himself.

Castiel exhaled, unable to keep his thoughts from drifting to the freckled man he was going to see that night, he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his most recent text messages. Seeing the way Dean had immediately opened up to him, joking with him, telling him about the little parts of his day, texting when he was bored.

The clock on his phone said 10:37am, only 5 more hours until he was off for the day, only 7 and a half until he got to see Dean again. Cas leaned his head against the case of cigarettes behind the counter, and closed his eyes, thinking of light brown hair and freckles, sparks beginning to dance under his skin.

“Look at him Meg, he’s positively glowing.”

Castiel opened his eyes to see Balthazar and Meg standing in the doorway of the Gas-N-Sip. Both of them looked a little worse for the ware, obviously fresh off a night of drinking and probably drugs. Balthazar had the red smudge of lipstick on the collar of his shirt, Meg’s own lipstick was faded and had been rubbed off in spots. He tried not to think about what that equation would equal.

“Clarence, I don’t think I’ve seen you smile that big in years,” Meg chortled. Castiel immediately forced a scowl, scrunching his nose in the process, Meg laughed, “That’s better.”

Balthazar crossed the distance from the door to the counter behind which Castiel stood. He hopped up onto it, sitting directly atop the lottery ticket display, legs dangling over the side, knocking magazines to the ground.

Meg followed close behind him, but took it upon herself to push the little swinging door that led behind the counter open, and plant herself directly in front of Castiel.

“So Cas.”

Castiel waited for her to finish her sentence, but she did not, she only stared at him expectantly.

Cas shook his head, confused, “So… What?”

Meg rolled her eyes and giggled, her laughter filling the quiet convenience store, “So, how did it go?”

Castiel looked down, the sparks that had been running over his skin intensified at the thought of Dean returned, but instead of filling him with joy, it frightened him. Meg and Balthazar knew him better than anyone, surely they would scold him, even caution him against falling for Dean.

Castiel finally brought his eyes back up to Meg’s, she was grinning at him, eyes sparkled with delight at Cas’ obvious embarrassment.

“I’m waiting,” she said in mock impatience, crossing her arms and tapping her foot.

“It went well.” Cas said simply.

“Well?” Meg’s eyes darkened into a sarcastic glare, “Do you hear that Balthazar? ‘It went well,’” she threw up her hands into air quotes as she repeated Cas’ words. Balthazar chuckled.

Cas didn’t know what the problem was, he shook his head “Yes, it went well.”

Meg looked between Cas and Balthazar. The later, whose back was still turned, legs dangling over the front of the counter, was bent over, and shaking. It sounded like he was choking.

Meg picked up a pen and threw it at his head, “Stop laughing you idiot!,This is serious!”  

Meg took a step forward and placed her hands on either side of Cas’ face, cradling it. Cas pushed his eyebrows together, confused.

“Don’t give me that look Clarence,” Meg gave Cas’ head a little shake, “I want details, and none of this ‘it was fine’ crap!”

Castiel continued to stare at her. Meg was being meddlesome, and he didn’t want to discuss his date and how he proceeded to panic and screw said date up. He didn’t want to talk about how he was scared this would end like his previous relationship, or how he had second guessed himself all night, even though he could tell that Dean was very interested. He didn’t want to talk about how he was bad for Dean and would only cause him pain. Meg needed to, for once in her life, mind her own business.

He looked hard into Meg’s eyes, and spat out, “It. Was. Fine.”

Meg obviously misread is sudden coldness toward the subject because she dropped her hands from his face and anger crept up in her eyes, “Did he do something to you?”

“What, Meg, no,” Cas tried to contest her, but she had obviously gone into older-sibling-even-though-she-was-technically-3-years-younger-than-him-mode.

“If that asshole did anything to you, I swear to God I will kill him. I don’t care how much Ruby likes his brother. I will cut him into such tiny pieces that they’ll never find the body!”

Balthazar hoisted his legs up over the counter and spun atop it to face Meg and Cas on the other side.

“Meg, calm down,” Balthazar said placing a hand on her shoulder, “There is no need to plan a homicide.”

“Meg, he didn’t do anything,” Cas thought for a moment, it was obvious Meg wasn’t going to let this go. Especially since she thought that Dean had offended his honor or something. He decided protecting Dean from whatever fate Meg was cooking up was more important than his pride, “We went to the movies, he put his arm around me, Dean was very charming.”

Meg looked unconvinced, “Then why was it just a fine date? Come on Cas, I know you, and you’re hiding something.”

Well, no turning back now.

“Some assbutt called us fags, Dean shouted at him, I sort of freaked out, I may have had a minor panic attack, and when I dropped him off at the end of the night I didn’t kiss him, even though I wanted to, and could tell he wanted it as well,” Oh God, it also sounded so much worse when Castiel repeated it all out loud, “Also, I drove off without properly saying goodnight to him.”

Meg’s expression changed to one of concern and she wrapped him in a tight hug, “Oh Clarence.”

At the same time Balthazar was double over with laughter, “Assbutt?” could be heard through is cackling.

For the first time since they had entered the Gas-N-Sip Meg seemed to not be hell bent on making Cas uncomfortable, she leaned back out of the hug, “Cas, it’s been three years, is it really still that bad?”

“Yes,” Cas pushed her off of him and went to find some task to distract himself with. Stocking peanut jars seemed like a good a plan as any.

Meg moved to follow him, but Balthazar held up a hand, “I’ve got this dear,” he half whispered and followed Cas down the aisle.

Even though Castiel knew Balthazar had appeared at his shoulder, he made no indication of caring, he simply continued taking jars peanuts out of their box and placing them on the shelf, perhaps a bit more violently than was entirely necessary.

Finally, Balthazar spoke up, “You know Cassie, it’s ok to like him, you don’t have to protect yourself forever.”

Cas set down the jar in his hand with a loud thud, “It’s not about protecting myself, it’s about protecting Dean!”

“Cas,” Balthazar said in a small voice, but Castiel did not turn around to acknowledge him, “Cassie, come on. You’re safe here, Dean’s safe here. I promise you that nothing will happen, not again.”

Castiel continued to glower at the peanuts, partly out of anger, but mostly out of embarrassment at his outburst.

“I know. Ok? I know I’m safe, I know they won’t find me. I know that it’s dumb and selfish to worry, but I can’t help it. You can tell me that I’m safe all you want. I can tell myself that I’m safe all I want, it doesn’t matter. Something happens, a sound startles me, or someone looks at me wrong and I’m back there, terrified, and I can’t drag Dean into that, alright?”

“Clarence- Cas,” Meg faltered on her pet name for him, she knew Cas hated it, and he could tell she was trying to make amends for inadvertently bringing up his past, “Do you think I feel like you’ve dragged me into anything by being my friend?”

Cas turned to give her a skeptical look, “No.”

“Well then, why don’t you let Dean decide for himself if he wants to be involved with you,” Meg hesitantly put her hands back on either side of Cas’ face, “In the mean time, why don’t we see if we can get you some help, you shouldn’t have to go back there. Ever.”

Castiel nodded before pulling Meg into to a tight hug,“You’re a good younger-than-me-big-sister.”

“Oh shut up,” Meg emerged from the hug to plant a kiss on Cas’ cheek, “I love you, you know that right?”

“You threatened to carve a man into pieces because you thought he was mean to me, believe me, I know.”

There was a whirr and a thud, and when Cas looked toward the source of the sound he found smoke beginning to pour out of the back of one of the slushie machines.

“Crap,” Cas stepped around Meg and Balthazar and walked over to the machine, “I think you both should go.”

“Too much family bonding cousin?” Balthazar said, making his way toward the door.

“No, of course not, I just think I should devote my full attention to the issue at hand,” Cas’ head had disappeared into the cupboard under the Slushie machine to unplug it.

“I was joking-,” Balthazar started, but cut himself off, shook his head, and settled on saying, “See ya later Cassie.”

He left the Gas-N-Sip and was in the car honking the horn before Meg had really even moved.

“Cas, are you sure you’re alright?” Meg moved towards Cas, whose head was still under the counter.

“Yes Meg, I’m fine. I mean- I’m not fine, but I’m alright now,” Cas peaked back to Meg, she looked sick with worry, “Did I tell you I’m seeing him again tonight?”

That did the trick, Meg’s face lit up, “Really Clarence? You’re giving me all the details tomorrow!”

“I make no such promises,” Cas joked, trying to keep the mood light.

“Well, I’m glad. You two will be good for each other,” Meg was baking up, but before pushing the door outside open, she added, “I’ll talk to you later angel,” and left to join Balthazar in his car.

Smoke had stopped billowing out of the back of the machine, Cas would have to call a repairman out to fix it tomorrow. Cas shut the cupboard and placed a makeshift sign on the front of the machine that read “Out of Order.” For now people would just have to go without their frozen drinks.

The excitement of his friends coming to visit him had subsided as quickly as it had risen. The store had become a ghost town again, and instead of cleaning yet another shelf that did not need it, Cas found himself back where he had started, behind the counter, eyes closed, head leaning back against the cigarette case.

Balthazar and Meg had surprised him, they knew his history better than anyone, and had not only been supportive with his pursuit of Dean, they had encouraged him. If they believed he could do this, then why couldn’t he believe in himself? Cas knew it wasn’t that simple, but still, he felt emboldened, he pulled out his phone and sent the text before he could talk himself out of it.

Monday July 15th

(10:58am) I can’t wait to see you.

\---

Dean removed his helmet, it hadn’t been that useful anyway. For the third time in six hours they had been called to a false alarm, which was annoying and boring as hell.

This particular call had been to a group of apartments where a young college student had left chicken nuggets in his toaster oven for too long, and not noticed that a dish cloth, which he had carelessly left atop the toaster oven, had caught fire. Lots of smoke without much payoff, by the time Dean’s engine had reached the apartment, the student had realized what was happening and put out the fire.

Dean jumped down from the back of the engine, his fellow firemen following suit.

“So who wants to take bets on the next call?” One of the firemen, Ash, said from beside Dean, where he was stripping his turnout jacket and trousers.

Dean laughed as he hung up his jacket, “Ash if we get another call before I leave I can guarantee you that it will be someone burning toast.”

“Brother, do not joke about that kind of thing or it will happen.” A smooth southern drawl added from across the room.

Dean threw his boot in Benny’s general direction, which Benny easily avoided, letting out a deep chuckle as he did.

“You have no right to such violence friend, I’ve been on for 24 hours, you’re about to get off after measly eight.” Benny said in response to the flying footwear.

Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes, Benny was a teddy bear, but that didn’t mean he didn’t talk a big game.

Ash and Andy could be heard snickering as they left the bay toward the rec area.

Dean followed close behind ignoring Benny as he mumbled, “Givin’ the rookie special treatment, not natural I tell you.”

Dean loved his co workers, even if he made a point never to see them outside of work. He got along well with all of them, and they didn’t tease him too much for being the rookie. Dean trusted these men, he just didn’t feel the need to be any closer with them than was necessary, he was safer that way.

Dean ducked out of the hallway that led to the rec area and climbed a set of spiral stairs to the dorms, as much as he hated to admit it, he was very anxious to get off work for the day.

Dean entered the dorms, and the commotion of men shucking their turnout gear faded into the background.

Dean had been on shift for almost eight hours, and he had doing everything he could to not obsessively check his phone every chance he got. He did not need to be distracted by thoughts of if Cas had or had not texted him since the previous night. He couldn’t help but think maybe he had been a little too forward with his attempts to hang out with Cas again.

But to his surprise there it was, the small letter icon.

Castiel// I can’t wait to see you.

He gaped openly surprised at the text. Of course he had hoped Cas would have texted him during the day, but he didn’t actually think he would receive anything from him. The dude had been ignoring him on and off all weekend after all. Dean was starting feel like Cas didn’t really like him at all.

Dean took stock of the time, 2:47. Thirteen minutes until the shifts changed. Three hours and thirteen minutes until his date with Castiel. Oh God.

Dean refused to panic like he had on Friday. First he would go home and take a shower, because he was sweaty and smelled of boot polish and burnt chicken nuggets. He would cook Cas and himself hamburgers, because he knew he had all of the fixins already on hand. Then Cas would come over, they would eat, maybe watch a movie, and barring anymore unfortunate run ins with homophobic asshats, have a wonderful, and possibly even romantic night. And he would most definitely not panic.

“Alright ladies, your salvation is at hand!” the booming voice of Chief Henriksen came echoing through the firehouse. He was making his way toward the rec room below Dean.

Dean blinked himself back to the here and now and threw a few things into his backpack. Time for the platoon change.  There were 3 platoons at Dean’s firehouse, A, B, and C. Each worked 24 hours on,  48 hours off, Dean was on Platoon B. Lucky for Dean, he had just missed the cut off for starting his shift on Sunday afternoon, it was really only through shameless begging that Henriksen had conceded and let him work the last 8 hours of his platoon’s shift.

“Go home make love to your wives, take a good long nap and I’ll see you all bright eyed and bushy tailed on Wednesday.” Henriksen’s voice boomed out again, he was making his way up the stairs to the dorms.

“Look alive Winchester,” Dean jumped as his Captain came into view, “Wake up! You can’t possibly be tired, you just got here!”

“Yes, sorry,” Dean said absent mindedly putting his phone in his pocket, “Thank you again, for letting me come back for the partial shift.”

“Don’t mention it, now go home, you won’t be having anymore of these tiny shifts, so get some rest.”

“Yes Sir!” Dean said mock saluting Hendrickson.

Hendrickson, shook his head and just pointed at the stairwell, “Go.”

Dean grabbed his bag and was down the stairs in a flash, he pulled out his phone and checked the time again, 3:04, 2 hours and 56 minutes to Cas.

****  
  


\---

Dean jumped out of the shower and quickly toweled himself off. Grabbing his phone off the bathroom counter he checked the time; 2 hours until Cas arrived.

Dean, the thinker that he was, had not so subtly suggested that Sam stay at Ruby’s for the night. Sam didn’t know Dean swung both ways, and there was no reason for Sam to need that knowledge until it was useful. Dean didn’t even know what him and Cas were himself. No need to bring Sam into the equation… Yes, Sam would find out when the timing was right. At least that’s what Dean was telling himself the reason for his complete and utter chicken shitery was.

He slipped on a favorite pair of jeans and a worn Led Zeppelin shirt and half ran down the stairs to the kitchen, he pulled out a ziplock bag of frozen ground beef, and set it on the counter to thaw. Buns were ready, he had all the condiments one could ask for; onions, tomatoes, lettuce, whatever Cas could possibly want on a burger.

All that was left was to make the meat into patties, he glanced at the kitchen clock, 1 hour and 54 minutes until Cas was due to show up. Dean cursed himself as he felt a familiar uneasiness start to well up in his chest.

What if Cas was simply looking for an easy lay? Heck, Dean could understand that; he partaken in many the easy lay himself. Really all Cas had done was invite Dean out to a movie and then bolt when Dean didn’t invite him in. Shit. That had to be it. He must have heard Dean’s reputation through Ruby or someone, and then when he’d seen him at The Barn he had thought to himself, _self, this is your lucky day, self proclaimed slut, and unattached drifter Dean Winchester has just walked into your life. Time to get your rocks off._

“That is not what he sounds like at all” Dean muttered to himself, moving into the living room and flopping down on the couch. Cas wasn’t an idiot, and neither was Dean. It was just… Cas obviously wanted Dean for something quick and easy. And Dean? Well, Dean was pretty sure that for once in his life, that was the exact opposite of what he was looking for.

“Fuck!” Dean cursed and shot up from the couch.

No, he wouldn’t let some guy he had just met a week ago do this to him. He was Dean Winchester God damn it! Heart breaker, womanizer, he marched to the beat of his own drum, and most certainly didn’t get flustered over awkwardly quiet guys with messy black hair and piercing blue eyes.

He took a calming breath and began to wander the house, trying to busy himself with meaningless tasks, picking out a few movies to suggest they watch tonight seemed like a good an idea as any.

No sooner had he laid out a few choice movies (The Count of Monte Cristo would be Dean’s top choice as he had just finished the book) when he heard a light tapping. Dean stiffened and perked up to listen as he heard it again. The tapping echoed slightly from the front room. Wait no, a knock? That couldn’t be a knock. Dean sat still in front of the pile of DVDs but another knock did not come.

He swore it couldn’t have been a knock, but still his nerves brought him to the front door, glancing at the kitchen clock again, just to be sure; 1 hour and 47 mins.

Knowing that he hadn’t heard anything he shook his head as he opened the door, to find honestly what he least expected, bright eyes surrounded by dark eyeliner and messy rockstar hair hovering above them.

Cas looked slightly bewildered, his eyes widening in surprise, his hand was raised in a fist as though he was moments away from knocking on the door again.

“I- uh,” Castiel stammered, he glanced at his still raised hand and quickly brought it down to his side, and finished his sentence lamely, “I was excited.”

Dean blinked, still surprised to find Castiel looking sexier than ever on his front steps. Castiel’s eyes had found their way to Dean’s and Dean was unable to speak for getting lost in them.

When Dean said nothing Castiel continued, breaking the stare.

“I’m sorry. I know I said I’d be over at six. I just couldn’t stop thinking about seeing you again,” Cas looked all around himself and Dean, he took a step back toward his car, gesturing at it over his shoulder, “I should go, I’m sorry, forget I showed up here.”

Dean finally found his voice, “Me too.”

“What?”

“Me too,” Dean said, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you either.”

Cas looked extremely conflicted, like he wanted to simultaneously run and never leave. Dean could not let him bolt, not again.

Welp, now or never.

“Stay,” Dean said, taking an unsure step out of the door toward Cas, “Please.”

Despite his better judgment Dean leaned in and kissed Castiel. He’d told himself that he would go slow with Cas, he didn’t want to scare him away. This was definitely way out of the realm of ‘quick and fun’, but if he scared Cas away, so be it, he’d kick himself if he didn’t at least try.

Cas was obviously taken by surprise. He let out a small gasp, as he stepped away from Dean in shock, and in doing so missed his footing and nearly toppled off the front step.

“Whoop-,” Dean exclaimed, pulling Cas back from the edge by the wrist, effectively pulling Cas against his chest.

Dean felt a sharp zap, and stepped back immediately, Cas had shocked him. Castiel still stood there, fighting a war with himself about what to do next.

Sensing the wheels turning behind Cas’ eyes, Dean tried to smooth it over, “I’m sorry. I’ve wanted to do that since I met you, I shouldn't have assumed you did too, you can go if you want.”

Cas looked up at Dean from the step, and took a step forward into Dean’s space, crowding Dean back into the house, “You did?”

“Dude, have you seen you? How could I not? I mean look at you.” Dean gestured vaguely to Cas as a whole, he knew his mouth was about to run away with him, but he’d already kissed the guy, what else did he have to lose?

Cas tilted his head to the side and arched an eyebrow, there was the cocky man he’d met at the concert.

“Okay, see? You can’t just give me that look! With your messy hair and you ripped jeans, and I mean come on man, is the eyeliner really necessary? Because I’m pretty sure my heart is going to give up on me if I put it through much more strain, and you standing there like that is definitely putting it through intense st-mph”

Dean was cut off as Castiel surged forward and lips collided. He could feel hands on his hips and let them guide him back to be pinned to the wall just beyond the front door.

Dean placed his hands on Cas’ shoulders and pushed him back searching Cas’ eyes for an explanation, they only held lightning. While Dean could see some apprehension, though Cas was trying his darndest to hide it.

Cas waited, probably expecting Dean to tell him to stop, but Dean didn’t pull away, and he found himself alternating between staring into Castiel’s eyes and flicking his gaze down to chapped lips.

Obviously not needing any more invitation than that, Cas grabbed the front of Dean’s shirt and pulled him into the living room, the front door left standing open and forgotten.

\---

Cas was walking backwards, pulling Dean with him toward a couch he knew stood somewhere behind him, pushed up against the far wall.

Dean seemed unable to make a decision on what to do next. His eyes wide with surprise, his hands still on Cas’ shoulders, his arms wide around Castiel’s own arms, pulling Dean.

Cas felt the seat of the couch bump the back of his calves sooner than expected, and half fell, half sat down, taking Dean with him.  Dean came back to himself just in time to quickly place his hands on the wall behind the couch.

Looking back on this moment, Cas would say this was where everything changed. Cas was seated below Dean, his hands having drifted down to Dean’s hips during his not so graceful fall to the couch. Dean was suspended above him, his chest beginning to move quickly, his eyes beginning to dilate.

Things could have cooled down, Dean could have realized he didn’t want to be here, didn’t want Cas the way Cas wanted him. He could have coughed awkwardly, laughed the nervous-but-trying-to-hide-it Dean laugh that Castiel loved and invited him to help make burgers. He could have stopped. But as was with everything in their relationship, things barreled forward, gaining speed, unable to be slowed or stopped, even if they wanted them to.

\---

Dean took his hands off the wall and lowered himself to kneel on the couch, a knee on either side of Cas’ legs. Dean felt Cas moves his hands from Dean’s hips to his back, he could swear Cas’s hands were emitting electricity, because they were sending sparks up his spine.

Cas’s breathing had all but stopped, the electricity of the moment just prior to this had stilled and the air felt like it was crackling, a lighting storm emanating out from the two of them, just waiting to strike. Dean moved a hand to the back of Cas’ head, threading his fingers through the messy hair. Cas closed his eyes and half sighed, half groaned at the touch. Dean’s resolve to go slow with Cas evaporated and he brought their lips together.

Kissing Castiel was the most natural thing Dean had ever done. Not that Dean hadn’t had a lot of practice, because he had, but kissing someone for the first time can usually, at best, be described as cute, at worst, awkward. This was new. This was too charged too fast, but for the life of him, Dean couldn’t think of a reason to stop.

“Hey Dean, is there a reason the door is wide open?”

“Shit.” Dean breathed and pulled back from Cas who blinked at Dean before glancing over his shoulder at the source of voice.

Dean turned his head to the side to see his brother standing in the front doorway, staring at the two of them couch.

“I’ll- um- I’ve got to,” Sam tried to nonchalantly make his way past the two of them, “I’ll be in my room.” He turn tail and ran up the stairs, slamming the door behind him.

“Coward.” Dean breathed to himself, before turning back to Cas who still looked a strange mix of shocked and turned on.

Dean turned back to Cas and chuckled, “Well, he was bound to find out about us at some point.”

“Us?”

“Yes, us, you and me,” Dean was confused by Cas’ question but thought nothing of it, “Well I guess the moments dead, huh?”

Dean planted a kiss on Cas’ forehead and pushed himself off the back of the couch to stand up. He held out a hand for Cas to take and pulled him to his feet as well.

“As much as I would like to continue this, I should probably go talk to him.” Dean said sadly, the bulge that had been threatening to grow in his pants would have to wait.

“When you say ‘us’...” Castiel started, finally bringing himself to look at Dean.

The same look that Dean had seen in Cas’ eyes on Friday night was back, and now Dean thought he could understand it, fear. What had caused Cas to become so guarded and afraid?

“Yes, us, you and me,” Dean echoed his own words, softer this time, “ I don’t know about you Castiel, but I’ve been able to think of nothing but this ever since I met you.”  

Cas let out a low, skeptical chuckle and moved a hand threw his hair, creating new messy shapes out of the overly gelled fringe. Dean couldn’t help himself and put his hands on Castiel’s hips, this time taking care to try and put all of his feelings into that one touch.

Dean pulled at the belt loops on Cas’ pants and he moved easily toward Dean.

“I mean it,” Dean said, almost in a whisper, “I can see you don’t believe me, but I really do mean it.”

Castiel nodded, more to himself than to Dean. He brought his face back up toward Dean’s just close enough that Dean felt awkward not kissing him, but not close enough to actually kiss.

“Ahh-,” Dean hated to have to do this, but pulled back anyway, “I really do need to go talk to him.”

Cas pulled back immediately, the uncertainty seemed to have dissipated, but there was still the smallest hint of an ember of it in the highlights of his eyes.

“Yes, you’re right.” Cas stepped back and ran his hand through his hair, causing the already messy locks to stand up even crazier than before.

“If you’re still free-” Dean said just as Cas said, “I’ll call you-”

Dean laughed and continued, “If you’re still free, maybe we could move this to your place.”

Cas looked shocked, clearly he thought Dean had intended to dismiss him.

“Yes I’ll- um- I’ll text you my address.” He said, backing toward the still open door, his voice impossibly deep, sent sparks over Dean’s skin.

He couldn’t help himself and pulled Cas in for one more kiss, “You do something to me.” He murmured between three quick pecks, “alright get out of here, or Sam will start to think we’re having sex down here.”

Cas blanched at him.

“I’m kidding,” he playfully shoved Cas toward the door, “I’ll see you soon, give me an hour.”

Cas nodded and brought his hand through his hair again.

“OK God! Stop that, or I’ll never make it upstairs.”

Cas quickly pulled his hand down to his side, and gave Dean a small smile, “One hour?”

“One hour.” Dean echoed, happy to see Castiel’s mood lifting, and turned to run up the stairs two at a time as Cas shut the front door behind himself.

\---

Dean slowly pushed his brother’s door open, poking his head inside, “Can I come in?”

“That depends,” Sam said without looking up from the book he had his head buried in, “Will you be sticking your tongue down some random dudes throat, cause I gotta say, if the answer is yes, then no, you can not come in.”

“Haha, very funny Sammy,” Dean stepped all the way in and closed the door behind himself, rolling his eyes at the pure sass that was rolling off his brother.

Sam finally looked up from his text book, and gave Dean a sly grin, “Oh, so you do know how to close doors.”

Dean crossed the space to Sam’s bed and pushed Sam’s head down from behind, Sam chuckled and continued reading, giving no indication of needing to continue the conversation.

Thankful that, for once, his brother wasn’t trying to turn everything into a big feeling fest, Dean nodded once and went to leave the room. But when he got to the door something stopped him, maybe it was the fact that Sam never let things go this easily, maybe it was because Dean knew something was different with Cas, maybe the stars were aligning and Dean was turning into a girl. Who knows why, but Dean stopped and turned back to his brother, “So you’re not going to say anything?”

A small smile crept across Sam’s lips, but he didn’t look up at his brother, “Why, about what Dean?”

“What do you mean about what?” Dean snapped back, “you just walked in on me making out with someone, normally you’d be all sorts of nosey and annoying. And besides, that someone happened to be a guy, and last I checked, you didn’t know I was bi, so I’m just a little underwhelmed at your reaction.”

Sam’s smile grew as he chuckled and closed his book.

“First of all, you forget I know you better than anyone, well maybe not better than Charlie, but she’s not here. I’ve watched Raiders of the Lost Ark with you Dean. Believe me, I’ve known you’re not exactly playing for home team for quite some time. Also, what do you want me to do? Throw punches? Dean our sister is gay, come on!” Sam finally got up off his bed and moved toward Dean, “Oh and Ruby told me you guys had a date last week.”

Sam clapped Dean on the shoulder and pushed past him into the hallway, and was off down the stairs to the kitchen before Dean could blink.

“Ok, hold the fucking phone!” Dean called after his brother, following him down the stairs, “You mean to tell me you’ve been letting me sweat this out for a week, and you didn’t tell me?”

“Pretty much” Sam said gleefully from where his head was buried in the refrigerator.

“You suck,” Dean grumbled, sitting himself down on the couch.

“In all seriousness though, Ruby, Meg, and Crowley have all separately made declarations to skin you alive if you hurt Cas,” Sam reappeared from the kitchen, “So i’d be careful if I were you.”

“I don’t think it’s him we should be worrying about,” Dean said leaning his head back against back of the couch, “He’s giving me serious emotional whiplash.”

“Emotional whiplash?”

“Yes! Emotional whiplash,” Dean spat back, “He’ll be mr. smooth, confident, and all over me, obviously wanting this as much as I do one moment, and the next he’s running away like I have the worst B.O. on the planet.”

“Well you do smell awful.”

“Will you be serious for two seconds!”

“Calm down, I’m sure he’s into you. From what I’ve heard, you’re the first person he’s been interested in in years. and besides he probably only ‘ran from your stench’ because you had just been walked in on by me, he just felt awkward… I know I did.” Sam added with a smile and a shoulder shove.

When Dean didn’t respond, Sam went on, “Stop over thinking it Dean, enjoy something for once, you’re too serious. It will be good for you to get out and have friends who you aren’t related to!”

“har har” Dean was already off the couch and making his way toward the front door, this conversation was taking a turn for the serious, and he did not do well with serious.

“Well…” Dean started, “As fun as this coming out speech has been, I have a date to finish.”

“What is he waiting in the car?” Sam said from the kitchen.

Dean scoffed, “God, no, I said I would meet him at his place.”

“Alright well remember,” Sam poked his head out from the kitchen and called after his brother, “sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener!”

“I’m going to pretend you did not just say that!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my long absence... my mother was sick so I moved back in to help with my siblings, and now my husband and I are moving to California in two weeks. So it's been a crazy few months. I can't promise I'll suddenly updating every week now or anything as I am in the middle a quite a few life changes, but I will try my best to update much more regularly. 
> 
> I'm also a perfectionist and I have issues publishing even when i've been finished with something for a long time (Yes, this chapter has been done for about 2 months...I know, I'm a schmuck) All of your kind comments, kudos, and inquiries as to whether or not I was abandoning this fic helped give me the kick in the pants that I needed. 
> 
> Again, I'm so sorry that this took so long! But I hope to get a lot more work on this done in the near future.


End file.
